BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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