Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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