i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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