She said her name was "party"
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
