Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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