have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Randomize
