If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
