I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
