I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize