3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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