Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
