I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
