I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
