hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
