Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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