Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
