normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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