it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because Iām drunk alone and hungry.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
