JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
