I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
