Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
if i can run in heels then i can drive
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
