The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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