I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
