I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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