So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Randomize
