He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
