You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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