Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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