its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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