Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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