You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
