was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
