so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
