Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
