An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
