so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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