Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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