butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
