I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
