so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
