how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
