Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Randomize
