oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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