Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
