It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
