its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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