Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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