i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
