I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
