Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
