Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize