Sry I called you an 8
Your face is a jimmy john
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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