omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The police scanner is talking about you again....
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
