dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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