I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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