I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
