Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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