He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
