This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
