6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
another moral hangover. fuck.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize