apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
