Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
