chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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