I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
