I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize