remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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