Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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