The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
