so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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