Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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